106: Pearls of Wisdom from The Life Coach School Mastermind

Welcome to The Wealthy Mom MD Podcast, a podcast for women physicians who want to learn how to live a wealthy life. In this podcast you will learn how to make money work for you, how you can have more of it, and learn the tools to empower you to live a life on purpose. Get ready to up-level your money and your life. I’m your host, Dr. Bonnie Koo.

Welcome to episode 106. So I just got back a few days ago from, was it 5 or 6 days in Austin, Texas. I was there for the annual meeting for life coaches certified by The Life Coach School, which is where I certified, obviously. And then, right after, I spent three nights at Miraval Austin. I think it’s Miraval, or is it Miraval?

Anyway, whichever it is in case you don’t know, it is an all-inclusive spa resort. They have three locations, Arizona in Tucson, Austin, Texas, and the Berkshires in Massachusetts. Now, I have been to the one in the northeast and this was my first visit to the one in Austin. And I love spas and I love it when they’re all inclusive, it just makes things so much easier. And Miraval is part of the Hyatt collection and I am a Hyatt girl. In fact, it is my goal this year to hit their top tier known as globalist.

I may have said this before, but the reason why I’m trying to get it is because well, you get lots of perks. You get sweet upgrades, you get access to their club which has lots of food, and I want to get it for 2023. And one of my goals is to take my family to Korea and to fly at least in business class. And they have Hyatts in all the major cities that I want to visit; Seol, Pusan, and Jeju Island. So that is something I am thinking for early fall in 2023.

Anywho, I am here to talk about pearls, things I’ve learned at the annual conference, it’s known as mastermind. Now, we haven’t met as a group in person since 2019 due to Covid. And they did not want to do something virtually, they wanted to wait until we could do it in person. Now, mastermind is a day and a half, sometimes two whole days. And basically there are talks by coaches, duh.

And this year the theme was A line. Now, in case you’re like, what does that mean? A line is one of the lines of the self-coaching model which is the major tool that we are trained with as a coach. And A line stands for action. So it was all about the action line, which seems ironic because most of us coaches help our clients focus on the T line, or the thoughts.

Now, just to give you some context in case you’re not familiar with the self-coaching model, many of us think it’s what we do, our actions, that will create things for us or that will move us forward. Now, that is partially true. Notice I said partially because it’s not 100% true because it depends what’s fueling those actions. And our actions are fueled by what we think and what we feel. And so you have to make sure they’re aligned.

So here are the pearls from that conference. I don’t really have a plan, don’t really have things in order. I am literally going to go through my notes on this podcast with you and sort of pick out the things I wrote down, the things that really spoke to me and why. All right, let’s go. In fact, let’s go is the phrase that Brooke Castillo, the founder of The Life Coach School, loves to say. she’s all about taking action and basically, let’s go.

So, one of the first things she said is that progress comes from creating results. And she talked about the distinction between passive action versus massive action. Now, if you’re like my typical listener, you love passive action. Passive action looks like this, studying all the things, learning everything. And see, it feels productive, it feels like you’re doing something, but it’s not.

I’m not saying it’s not useful, you’ve got to do something, that is the massive action. You’ve got to take massive action. And I will say, the most successful people that I know, and I don’t just mean entrepreneurs, they are great at taking action. They are great at making decisions and taking action and not having too much time in between making the decision and doing something about it. Because you have to do things to create results. I mean that makes sense, right?

Now, what most of us try to do is hustle our way to results. Here’s what I mean, hustling is when you’re trying to outrun yourself. You’re like, “Well, I don’t really believe in this,” or you’re having just low belief in yourself and so you keep yourself busy doing, doing, doing. Now, you’re probably like, “Wait, didn’t you just say we have to do things to have progress to create results?” Yes, but only if it’s fueled by the right beliefs.

She also talked a lot about fear and how it’s totally normal to have it. Now, this is something I tell my clients all the time. Most of us think when we are scared or when we have fear that it’s a signal or it means that we shouldn’t do it. Isn’t it interesting that’s what we make it mean? I mean it’ kind of like makes sense, right? But it doesn’t unless you’re in true physical danger it does not.

Now here’s the thing, our brain can’t really distinguish between the different fears. Of course you know that you’re not really in physical danger, but your brain kind of thinks so. And so I love the acronym for fear, false evidence appearing real, because that’s what it is, right? Fear is literally false evidence, false fear appearing real.

She also talked a lot about discipline, doing the stuff you don’t want to do. And she actually said, and this kind of blew my mind, that she loves doing shit she doesn’t want to do. To me that was like, what? Because I think so many of us don’t do things because we don’t want to do it.

Now, I’ve talked about this before and I tell my clients all the time, I think a lot of us are like waiting to be interested to do something. Like working out, you might be like, “Well, I don’t really want to work out.” So what? Is that a valid reason?

I hear my clients say,” Well, I don’t really want to budget,” or “I’m not interested in investing.” Yeah, and? That’s what I ask and they’re so confused when I do that because I think we’ve, I don’t know, somehow believed that it’s required in order to do something. And it’s totally not. And this is something I’ve heard before, but every time I hear it it just blows my mind because it reminds me, oh yeah, I don’t have to want to do it to do it.

Then she talked about what is the fuel for your action? Now, I said this before, it matters 100% what’s fueling those actions. What are the thoughts and feelings? And she gave sort of her fuel and I want to share some of my fuel for the actions that I love taking that creates the results that I love. And so for me it’s committed, compelled, determined, courage, and grit.

Now, I think most of those are kind of obvious what they feel like, and I just want to take a moment to talk about feeling committed. I actually don’t think it necessarily feels that good in my body. To me, committed means doing it no matter what, including when I don’t want to. And so that’s why it doesn’t always feel good to be committed, because I commit to things where I don’t necessarily love all the parts of it.

Like recently I committed to losing 15 pounds by my birthday, which is the end of June. And I’m just remember that I talked about this in the last podcast, or a few podcasts ago, about your future self. But I’m committed to that future version of myself more than my immediate self-gratification or desire to things or not do things. And then she sort of ended with what if you gave up all of your excuses and just make a freaking decision?

Okay, the next talk was by Brig Johnson, and I actually had her on the podcast a few episodes ago. And she gave the most amazing analogy that I’ve ever heard and I have to share it with you. So, she was talking to coaches and most of us are building business and want to make money and be successful.

So she was talking about that but this can apply to anything you’re going for. Maybe it’s making money, maybe it’s some other goal that you have. And how most of us tend to fall into a little bit of compare and despair wondering why that person seemed to have it so much easier, why do you have it so hard, all those things.

So here’s the story she gave, she basically said we’re all trying to go to the grocery store and some of us have stop signs and red lights, some of us have detours. And then she actually asked us, before she gave this story, like do you get mad when you have to stop at a stop sign on the way to the grocery store? Probably not, unless you have road rage or that’s more like a traffic light.

And she gave this story about her dad, I guess they lived in New York City, so if you live in New York City or have been there or live there I should say, you’re going to identify with this story. There’s a saying or there’s a thing where if you go at the right speed you will catch all the green lights because who wants to stop at a red light?

But she gave that story to show us how when it comes to whatever journey we’re on, whether it’s money, whether it’s entrepreneurship, when you do hit a stop sign or a detour we get so upset, right? And so what she said about that journey is you’re going to the grocery store, there might be some stop signs, there might be some traffic lights, some detours, and that’s okay because you’re going to get to the grocery store. We’re all going to get to the grocery store. And some people just live closer to the grocery store.

I loved this story. Loved it, loved it, loved it. Just loved that analogy because I definitely see people who have been more successful, have made more money, and maybe in a shorter amount of time. It’s so easy to be like, why? It’s not fair, et cetera. And they just live closer to the grocery store. And I just love that analogy, it just gives me so much peace and also it helps me focus on my own journey. And it reminds me that we’re all going to get to the grocery store, all of us. What would it be like if you believed that?

And the last thing that she said that like, was amazing to me is you know how sometimes, not sometimes, I think all the time we'll hear certain things over and over again, or maybe there's a lot of time in between. And then someone says it in a way that clicks. Or maybe you just needed to hear it that many times for it to really sink in and make sense. So that's what this moment was like for me.

She basically said, we could be our own dopamine person. She said dopa-man, but I think I like more like a dopamine dispenser for ourselves. And what she meant by that is, basically, did you know that in order to succeed you have to love succeeding? You have to love every minute of it. And analogy that I like to give to my clients and also for myself, because it's not always the case for me, it's like you have to love every dollar that comes in, every money that you make.

And so if you're not someone who's in business, maybe this applies to you investing in real estate, or any sort of thing you're doing to create another stream of income. You have to love every dollar that comes in versus thinking, “Oh, this isn't enough. Oh my God, it's only a few hundred dollars a month.” Because when you're investing in real estate, when you first start out unless you buy a huge multifamily sort of thing or property, you're probably not going to make a ton of money initially.

So it's so easy to go to this isn't enough. But here's the thing, when you keep telling money it's not enough, it doesn't attract more money. But if you love, and cherish, and appreciate every dollar that comes in, that's giving yourself dopamine. And guess what? Your brain wants more dopamine. And so you're going to want to keep doing the thing that's making you money, or whatever it is that you're trying to do.

And I've heard this before, that you have to appreciate every little success, every little bit because otherwise you're not going to love it when you get there. I mean, how many of you think, this is the arrival fallacy, that once you get there, once you have a million dollars, 5 million, whatever it is, then you're going to love the money? Well news flash, you're not going to love it when you're there if you don't love it now.

The next pearl I want to share was from another coach and she basically was talking about imposter syndrome. Now, I know you're probably all familiar about it but it's always a good message to hear in how we persistently discount ourselves. You know, if someone says, “Oh, that's a really nice dress.” It's so easy for us to be like, “Oh, I got it on sale,” or et cetera. Or you could just say, “Thank you so much. I love it too.”

And it's not natural for us to do because of the way we're socialized. Most of us, whenever something great happens we'll say, “Oh, it's a fluke, I got lucky.” Stop saying those things. You did not get lucky. It was not a fluke. You created that.

Okay, then there was a talk about your image and sort of like the brand that you're living into. This actually goes really well with my last podcast about your future self. And I'm actually getting really excited because this is something I'm definitely going to talk to the women inside my program right now, is I really want you to think about that future version that has everything that you want.

Like she already has that in her life, because she does. And for my clients, we're generally talking about money. So your future self that has all the money that she ever wanted. Who does that person look like? Obviously it’s you, but how does she dress? How does she carry herself? And I just loved thinking about that because I actually think I do that right now.

Like I dress like that future version of me that has everything. Now, my style will evolve over time, I'm sure of it. But I love the way I dress, I love the branding of Wealthy Mom MD, I feel like I am living into that future and showing other people that it's available to them. So I just really loved that.

She talked about having a style statement. It could be three words, and she gave some examples of people. And I don't know what mine are at this moment, but one of them is definitely fancy. I'm still playing with what the other words are. But the first thing that came to me, yes, fancy.

And then she talked about three audacious statements. And she shared what Brooke Castillo’s are. And they're meant to be a little, I don't want to say jarring, but they're meant to be audacious. So hers are I'm rich, I love money, and The Life Coach School is the best Life Coach School in the world. And those are audacious statements. So when she says I love money and I'm rich, definitely turns a lot of heads and turns people off. But it's not about pleasing everyone, it's about being audacious.

Now, I'm still working on mine. But then what I realized when I heard that is I am scared to put those audacious statements out there in the world. And I've known that I've been sort of scared to really be who I am. But this talk really showed me how scared I am and how there's lots of things that I haven't actually shared with you guys. And I don't mean like things about my life. But I definitely noticed there is something in the way of me really being me.

And that idea of audacious statements got me because it's kind of in some way, I don't want to say hypocritical, but as a money coach, yeah, I think I am afraid to say how much I love having money and how much I love luxury things and places. I don't think I have such a problem with that part because I do post on my stories and I have pictures of me in really nice places, staying at the Four Seasons, wearing nice clothes. But I don't think I've gone so far as to say I really love doing this stuff and I don't have a problem with it.

So one of the things I love about The Life Coach School is, and because Brooke loves money, she loves celebrating money. And I think this probably has to do with what my audacious statements are because one thing that pains me is how we, women and men, we’re like so afraid to celebrate money, right?

I've talked in the past how it's okay for us to say I'm debt free, people love saying that. But if someone said something like, I just made a million dollars, or my net worth is now $10 million. Most people would not be happy for them. I would be happy for them. That's what I love about the entrepreneurship world, we love celebrating money. Now sometimes we get into compare and despair, but we love celebrating it.

And so Brooke is really good at doing that and so she celebrates her coaches who are making money. So she has an award for making over 100K, and then she has awards for making over seven figures, and there are currently two eight figure coaches. So this was my second year receiving the 100K award.

And when the folks making seven figures, called the two comma club, they all came on stage and it's crazy because just a few years ago there was really only a handful and I think there were like a little over 20 people on the stage including two physicians, by the way, from traditionally underpaid specialties. Yes, I'm talking to you.

That's why it pains me and hurts my brain literally and my heart when I hear traditionally low paying specialties literally say to me that they cannot make more money. Okay, maybe you can't make more money in what you're currently doing now, probably because you're not a business owner. But I just give these examples to show you that it's possible for you.

And so they actually shared some of their beliefs that created their million dollar year, or more. So I'm going to share some of the ones that I wrote down that really resonated with me. And here's the thing, there's no belief or thought police, you can steal someone else's belief that resonates with you.

So the first one is I am committed no matter what. I'm going to decide to like myself anyway. Bring it, I was made for this. It's safe to be the most successful version of myself. I'm already here, trust the process. If they can do it, I can do it.

And here's the last one and one of my favorites, my dream matters. And so that's how I want to end today's podcast. Your dream matters. If you have that tugging, that voice inside of you, if you know that you're meant for something more, listen to it. Your dream matters.

The last thing I want to say is that I am currently taking applications to do one on one private coaching with me. I haven't done this in a while and my coaching is not limited to women or physicians. In fact, this isn't money coaching like I've done in the past. This is coaching on your brain to remove all of the self-imposed limitations to make your dream matter and bring it to fruition.

I started working with a coach in 2018, that's four years ago, literally. And there is no way I could have imagined that I would have the life I have now. That is the truth. And I was starting well on my way to that just a year in, actually less than a year in of coaching. And so I know it's possible. Literally in a few short years or even less, you have no idea where you could be.

So we will link in the show notes how to apply and schedule a consultation call with me. I am taking on a limited number of one on one clients. I am so excited to work with you. Go to my website, wealthymommd.com and then click on work with me and you'll be taken to the page to apply and schedule a call with me. Can't wait to meet and chat with you, and to remind you that your dream matters. All right, have a great rest of your week.

Hey, if you're ready to create wealth, I want to invite you to join my program, Money For Women Physicians. You'll join a community of like-minded women physicians who are committed to creating wealth. Just head over to wealthymommd.com/money to learn more.