Hey, so before we start episode 223, which is all about reflecting your life in 2024, I wanted you to save the date. January 15th at 8pm or January 18th at 11am for my first workshop of 2025 called Design Your Wealthy Life. And so it’s basically what it sounds like, you're going to create your vision of what you want, and not just 2025 but like what do you really want your life to look like? Because if you don’t know where you're going, it’s really hard to reach your goals, even if they’re unspoken.
And so save the date, wealthymommd.com/223, you’ll see a button where you can sign up and save your spot for the workshop that way you can add it to your calendar very easily. And so make sure you do that. Okay, on with the show.
Welcome to The Wealthy Mom MD Podcast, a podcast for women physicians who want to learn how to live a wealthy life. In this podcast you will learn how to make money work for you, how you can have more of it, and learn the tools to empower you to live a life on purpose. Get ready to up-level your money and your life. I’m your host, Dr. Bonnie Koo.
Hey everyone, welcome to another episode. I don’t know about you, but I cannot believe the year is over. I mean, I kind of think this every year, but every year seems to go faster. And in fact, I was actually talking to someone about this. Now, this is obvious, but the realization, like you know how you hear something obvious, but you never really stopped to think about it? And so this was one of those things.
So remember when you were a kid and the summer seemed so long, like it almost felt like a whole school year in itself. And then as you get older, it just goes faster and faster and faster. I think it also seems to go faster when you have kids.
And basically we realize, well, this makes total sense because when you’re young, you literally haven’t had that many years of living your life. And as you get older, I’m 47 now, a year is literally shorter. Okay, not shorter, but I think you know what I mean. In terms of context, it’s shorter compared to the amount of life I’ve already lived.
Anyway, I think that’s why the year always seems to go by faster and faster.
Okay, so if you’ve been following me for a while, you know that in December I always like to encourage you all to do a year end reflection. And I do this for myself as well. And we provided a worksheet last year, but we’re providing an updated one because as I do these more and more, I always get sort of different or new perspectives on questions that I think will be useful for myself and for you.
And so what’s the purpose of doing one? I think it’s so easy for us to just keep moving forward. It’s like, okay, January is a clean slate and it’s almost like you want to forget whatever happened in 2024, right? At least that’s, I think, human nature.
And it’s also not a way to use it against yourself. It’s not just about reflecting on lessons learned and challenges you had, but also it’s a way to also think about what went really well. What gave you a lot of joy? Like what was amazing about the year? Because I don’t think we spend enough time doing that in our day-to-day life, let alone when a whole year goes by, right? So it’s an opportunity to pause and really reflect on that.
So a few things that I’m definitely reflecting on, I truly believe that every year my life gets better and better. And what I mean by better is I have more enriching experiences. I’m always meeting new people. So creating new relationships, deepening existing ones, and I just feel like I get to know myself every year on a deeper level. And I also, in general, like myself more as more time goes by.
And so the two things that really came up for me, or a few things in terms of reflection on my own life, is my family and I were able to spend a month in Greece with some really close friends. And that is an experience I’ve never had with my family. I’ve done the whole backpacking in Europe when I was younger, and I actually did one trip that was six weeks, maybe even a bit longer. But obviously I was much younger, single, and willing to stay in hostels, right? So that was an amazing experience for me, my family, and I would say especially for Jack.
Total side note, I recently followed Jonathan Haidt. I think it’s H-A-I-D-T or D-H-T. But many of you probably already know who he is. He’s a very outspoken person about the dangers of social media and how just the way childhood is so different now, and I know all of us already know that. And so he’s very outspoken about it, and so I think he’s a great social media account to follow.
So the reason why I bring him up is because one of the things that I really saw unfold in Greece is Jack having a lot of independence. And I never thought I’d be a helicopter mom, but what I realized is pretty much this whole generation of parents are helicopter-y. Like way more than our parents’ generation.
I’m sort of on the cusp of Gen X and Y, more X than Y, I would say. And we would just ride our bikes and roam around the neighborhood. No one knew where we were, right? There were no cell phones. And as long as you were back by sundown or dinnertime, no one cared where you were, right? We’d just roam, we explored, and did all sorts of things that kids do. And kids don’t have that anymore, like not really.
And so when I was in Greece, it was just so wonderful to kind of see or allow Jack to have the opportunity for lots of free play. And when we were on Syros, there was a big square that everyone would gather at night, and people clearly didn’t go to sleep till almost midnight. And the kids would just be running around in this square, and the parents would kind of just be on the edges chit-chatting with other parents, not super paying attention to the kids, but obviously they were there.
And it was the first time that I would leave Jack in a place like that and leave. I never left that long, because again, this was kind of new to me. But I would go across the street and maybe meet some friends for ice cream, and then I would come back, knowing that there were other parents in our cohort there loosely watching the kids, right? And so I was able to do that several times.
And the apartment we had in Syros, there were stairs that would go down to a playground, and he would run down to the playground by himself and play, and I would catch up with him later, but I wouldn’t feel the need to go with him, you know what I mean?
And now that we’ve settled in Tampa, we live in a pretty suburban neighborhood, and again, Jack loves to ride his bike. Well, he learned how to ride his bike here in Tampa. And we live in a townhome, and there’s rows of townhomes, and then regular homes, and obviously streets, et cetera. And so we have allowed him to ride his bike in an agreed-upon area where we don’t have to be walking behind him, you know what I mean?
And even then, there’s a part of me that wants to give him even more independence. And Jack has ADHD, and he can be quite impulsive, and so I do feel like there’s some safety concerns on that front. But that is something I’ve really been reflecting on, and also really thinking about how can I allow more free play that’s not structured, right? Because I think a lot of us have fallen into this scheduling with activities, and I was sort of against that. And then I realized, actually, I think I am sort of doing that, sort of like not on purpose, but anyway, that’s a whole other thing.
But Jonathan Haidt, great person to follow. He wrote the book The Anxious Generation, which many of you may have heard of, and so just a great, insightful book if you are a parent. But even if you’re not, I think it’ll be giving you a lot of insight on how different and challenging it is to raise humans in this day and age of technology and social media.
And so we do have a reflection worksheet for you, and so if you go to the show notes, you’ll see the link to click, and we’ll send it to you. Otherwise, you can go to wealthymommd.com/223, the numbers 2-2-3, that’s for episode 223. You can do these questions for yourself as well.
So I recommend doing the “positive” reflection first, and what I mean by that is really reminiscing about amazing moments, experiences like I just described, like really spending time thinking about them, you know? And also this might be an opportunity, as an aside, to go through the thousands of pictures you’ve probably taken in 2024 and to schedule like an hour or maybe two, depending how many you have, and create an album and take the best of.
I have an iPhone, I’m sure the same thing happens in Android where it can automatically create a movie about 2024. I don’t know if you can actually tell it to do that, but I’m guessing you probably could. And so I think that’s a really great thing to do for yourself.
So I recommend doing that first and then reflecting on sort of anything that you either wished things went differently, any challenges, you know, times or experiences that you could learn from, right? All of us have lots of those, including me.
So definitely one of the most challenging times this year was moving to Tampa. You can imagine why that was a challenging time. There’s just a lot of things to do, like besides moving us physically, all the things that we own, finding Jack a new school, feeling stressed about that, all that kind of good stuff.
And I’m really grateful for many aspects of the move because Matt is in a job that he loves and so it’s been really great to see him thrive professionally. I truly feel like we’ve hit the jackpot with the school that Jack now attends. Even though in the beginning I was actually mourning the school that he wouldn’t be able to continue back in New York. And so everything kind of has a bit of a mixed bag.
And moving was also hard, as you know, it’s one of the top three things that are stressful in life. And I had postpartum anxiety and I would say there were a few moments in my life where I had that level of anxiety where it did kind of interfere with my life in a negative way. And so I definitely experienced, I don’t know, is there a name for it? I know like clinically it’s called adjustment disorder, but really it’s post move anxiety. Or more like it was during, so whatever that word would be, right?
But it’s moving related anxiety. And it was really hard for me. And I think it was partially juggling all these things, the drawing experience of moving to a new place, not knowing anyone and just having to make so many decisions in a short amount of time. And so I had to get my medications adjusted, basically they all went up. And I knew that time and medications would help. And I will say, as of the time of this recording, I feel totally back to normal.
And I also truly believe that being in a sunny place is going to be so good for my mental health because it was hard, when you’re in the Northeast it’s cold and dark. And I actually got these glasses called Luminette, I think I’ve talked about them before. And so you may know that you can get a light box to help with seasonal affective disorder, but it’s also extremely inconvenient cause you have to sit there for, I don’t know, but probably at least 30 minutes.
And so these are glasses that you put on that are not exactly the equivalent of the number of lumens needed for effectiveness, but pretty close. And so I don’t have to use those anymore. And now what I use them for is actually for jet lag.
So as you can see, there’s been really great things about moving and also things that didn't go so well. And so I was talking mainly about professional things at this point, but I think this is also a time to reflect professionally as well. And so a question for you is what’s one accomplishment that made you feel really fulfilled this year or was very meaningful for you in terms of your business, your job, et cetera.
A few reflections I have about my business is I hosted the first ever Money and Wellness Conference for Female Physicians. We had the first one earlier this year in March at Miraval resort in Arizona. And I loved curating this conference. I loved curating the experience. I loved having it at Miraval. I loved that it was intimate and I loved all the speakers that I chose.
And before the actual conference, we had signed a contract to have the second one, February 20 to 23 in Hawaii at the Four Seasons. And so we still have spots remaining, and so I think this would be a wonderful way to really start the new year.
And actually right before I recorded this, I had an amazing idea, I think it’s amazing anyway, and I’m really excited to be able to share it with the attendees. So if you go to my website, wealthymommd.com, you’ll see a little button to learn more about the conference, or you can go directly to the website at wealthymommd.com/conference. And that’s February 20 to 23 at the Four Seasons, Oahu.
I mean, Hawaii is my happy place, but obviously Hawaii is gorgeous and the Four Seasons, like it’s going to be an amazing, luxurious experience. And it’s on the ocean and the ocean has been proven to be really calming for our nervous systems. And so I can’t think of a better place to be with other women physicians, to be with the amazing speakers that I have selected to really think about how you want to live your life with purpose going forward, money wise and also personally wise as well.
At the same time, I had mentioned most of the pros of hosting the conference, but then I also learned how difficult it is to create and host a conference. And so live events are definitely not for the weak of heart. And when I mean live events, I really mean larger scale events like a conference where you’re having like 50 plus attendees. I’ve done retreats. That was much less moving parts.
And I have decided I will not be doing this conference again, the way it is. I’m going to be focusing on smaller retreats. I’m not quite sure when, it could be as early as the fall of 2025, but I will not be hosting the Money and Wellness Conference going forward.
Of course I could change my mind, but I’m pretty sure that I won’t be doing that anytime soon just because the planning takes a lot of time and resources from myself and my team. And there are other things we really want to focus on in the business, providing lots of value for you, my listeners, really focusing on the programs that we offer and deliver.
And so just to give you a bit of a preview, in 2025, I will be offering a business program. And that’s something I’m really excited about. And it’s something that’s been on my mind for a few years and I finally decided I’m going to do it. And so I don’t have all the details as of this recording. It’s probably going to be starting in April. It’ll be open for enrollment probably in March, early March or end of February.
And so those are my sort of professional reflections on sort of what I’m up to and what I’d like to do moving forward. Again, I encourage you to do this for your professional life, whether you’re employed or not. And I mentioned the photo gallery. And in terms of spending time reflecting, it doesn’t have to take a lot of time, like we’re talking 30 minutes.
You can download the worksheet and spend some time journaling. I’m a huge fan of journaling, it has so many benefits and many of you probably journal already, but it’s also easy to kind of go off track and not journal as often as you’d like. It’s just very different, and I know you’ll agree, than just thinking about things, right?
It’s like, I know many of you will probably look at the questions and think about the answers, but writing them down, it does something different in the brain, right? It really helps you connect with what you’re thinking about and what you’re reflecting on. And that sort of deeper connection is fuel for moving forward in life.
Another fun thing I like to do when I’m reflecting is if 2024 was a chapter of a book, what would the chapter be called? Like what would the title be? I’m going to have to think about this one. So I haven’t figured out the title yet. I mean, it could be something just boring, like Tampa and Greece, or it could be like a phrase, like just have fun with it. I think it’s really fun to just give it a title.
And another thing is if 2024 was a movie, what would the title of the movie be and what actor or actress would play you? Now the problem is I’m Asian and there aren’t that many Asian actors. And so the actress or actor doesn’t need to look like you, okay?
I remember thinking like, well, I have a very limited choice here, but then someone’s like, but it doesn’t matter what they look like. Like who would you want to be you in terms of the acting? And so I thought that was a really great suggestion. So I think that would be pertinent to a lot of you because obviously not all of us are white.
And so when you do this, then it’s a great segue to think about 2025. And a lot of us tend to sort of be retroactive about things, but you can decide how the future will look. So for example, a fun question would be, what would the title of 2025 be? Like what would you want it to be called? What’s one area of your life that you really like to focus on in 2025?
So obviously in an upcoming episode, I believe it will be the first one in January, I’m going to talk more about how to think about the future. I’ll share the answer of what I call 2024. I’ll share what I’m calling 2025 and I’ll be sharing the area/areas that I want to focus on in 2025.
And so I truly hope that you are enjoying the rest of the year. I know it can be a bit of a crazy time with holidays and shopping and family and you know, there’s good and bad and ugly about all those things. And so wherever you are, whatever situation you are, always remember to be kind to yourself.
And again, please grab the 2024 year end reflections worksheet. It’s really an amazing opportunity to reflect and really honor yourself for who you are in 2024.
And in preparation for 2025, I’ll be hosting a workshop and I’ll be doing it twice. It’s going to be January 15th at 8pm Eastern and January 18th at 11am So January 15th is a Wednesday, January 18th is a Saturday. And so by doing it twice, I’m hoping that you will be able to make one of those times.
We will record it as well in case you truly cannot make it live. And so the theme is going to be designing your wealthy life. And it’s going to be an amazing opportunity to really start the year on the right foot and also really step into your future.
And again, we’ll be doing things like naming the chapter of 2025 and all that fun stuff. And obviously how you can then use that vision to help you create your money goals because, again, you can’t create your money goals without knowing where you want to go.
All right, so I will talk to you all next week.
Hey there, thanks so much for tuning in. If you loved what you heard, be sure to subscribe so you don’t miss an episode. And if you’re listening to this on Apple Podcasts, I’d love for you to leave a review. Reviews tell Apple that this podcast is, well, awesome. And it will help women find this podcast so that they too can live a wealthy life. And finally, you can learn more about me and what I do at wealthymommd.com. See you next week.
