117: Roe v Wade: What the Patriarchy Doesn’t Want You to Do

Welcome to the Wealthy Mom MD Podcast, a podcast for women physicians who want to learn how to live a wealthy life. In this podcast you will learn how to make money work for you, how you can have more of it, and learn the tools to empower you to live a life on purpose. Get ready to up-level your money and your life. I’m your host, Dr. Bonnie Koo.

Hey everyone, so originally I was going to talk about takeaways from my weekend in Denver, Colorado. I just came back, well I guess a few days ago at this point from Denver, Colorado. I was at a two day in-person event with one of my beloved mentors and coaches, Brooke Castillo, and I’m definitely going to talk about that. And we need to talk about what’s been happening in the US lately.

And so this won’t come out for another probably around two weeks after Roe versus Wade was overturned and I wanted to talk about it a little bit. So in case it wasn’t obvious I’m not okay with this. And what I mean by obvious is if you’ve been following me for a while I’m all about women doing what they want, empowering them, including making and having lots of money.

And my reasons for wanting to do this have changed over the years, or more like things have been added to it. In some ways I feel like my purpose is getting clearer and clearer, and now more than ever I feel like it’s so, so, so important for women to want to make money. And I want to talk about that today.

But first I want to talk about some non-money stuff. Now, I actually was on the plane, like literally in the air on my way to Denver when this happened. And obviously I was, actually I was kind of in denial, I’m like, “This is not really happening.” I was incredibly disappointed, sad, angry, and hopeless. All the things.

And I was bit distracted being in Denver and it was kind of an all-day thing, I was with some really good friends of mine, entrepreneur friends of mine. And of course we talked about it, we were all bitching about it and we were all there for a specific thing and so now that I’m back I’ve had some time to sort of think about.

And I have been really activated by this and I’m just guessing that many of you are probably in that same boat. And when it first started I was on the social medias Instagramming, Facebooking, ranting a little bit. And now I’ve taken some time to really think about this and what I’ve done is to actually really decrease how much I’m reading and watching online and on TV to help sort of me collect my thoughts. And so if you’re feeling anxious and activated I would suggest that for you as well.

And here are my thoughts about what’s going on. They, and when I say they I meant those people, the people that support the patriarchy who want to reduce women to less than men, basically, right? The patriarchy. And the patriarchy includes women too, by the way. It’s not just carried out by men. They want us to be hopeless. They want us to feel like we can’t do much about it.

And in fact I think it’s really easy for that to happen. I think it’s really easy for us to see this as, I was going to say as something really bad, but really denial is what I want to say. And that’s what they really want. They want us to focus our attention to certain things. Now, of course, these are just my thoughts and opinions, take them or leave them.

And I love the outpouring of support in all the forms, writing letters, calling members of congress, the senate, et cetera, protesting, donating to all of the amazing groups out there that are going to make sure the women who want and need abortions can get them safely and have that support.

Because it’s one thing to get an abortion and it’s whole ‘nother thing to get that mental support that they’re going to need because listen, nobody gets an abortion for the freaking fun of it. That’s a whole ‘nother discussion but that’s like simply not true and I think that’s what a lot of these one, I can’t think of the name but you guys know what I’m talking about, the folks who tend to vote just based on one point, AKA abortion.

Anyway, I believe that we have a critical mass of women that are not going to go down without a fight. Me being one of them, you being one of them. We have come way too far to let this be okay. It is not okay.

For sure this is not fake, meaning Roe versus Wade has been overturned by the Supreme Court. States have already banned abortion, although in some states they’re really trying to delay things and resist so to speak. I think all of the abortion providers, OB/GYNs, the nursing staffer, everyone that is going to do whatever they can to give the care that I know they want to give.

And I also want to say, what I've seen is so many of us, we want to feel like we can do something. And here's what I want to say about that, you probably have already done something. I think donating is a great way and there's so many great places. And I'll link in the show notes some of the funds that I have become aware of or the organizations, I know abortion funds is one of them, but there are a few others. So I'll put those in the show notes.

And here's what I want to say, you are already part of the solution. Here's how I know, even if you and I have never met, because this is what I know about the women and men who listen to my podcast. You are someone who has gone after what they want and accomplished things that our female ancestors couldn't even dream of or think of it being possible.

You have to remember that our rights as women when it comes to money has only recently been granted to us. I've done a whole series on the history of women and money, and if you haven't listened to those I highly recommend you do that. Also, if you're listening to this podcast you are someone that someone else looks up to, for sure. Even if you're thinking that it’s not true, it is for sure true.

You are an example of what's possible to another woman, to another girl. And or maybe you're someone who takes care of other women, this could be as a physician, this could be as a mother, this could be as a daughter, that's just what we do as women, we take care of other people. You're donating to help women get abortions. You're thinking about this. And there's so many other things about you just being, just existing that makes you part of the solution.

So if you're feeling hopeless or you're wanting to do something and you don't know what to do, I would say first thing is to definitely donate to abortion funds and some of the other funds that we’ll link in the show notes. And continue being you unapologetically because here is what I believe, Roe versus Wade is just one way they're trying to keep women small.

And the reason why this is such a critical moment in our history is because if we let this happen, what else are they going to do? I think a lot of us take our rights as women, I don't think we take them for granted, but we take some of the things for granted. Meaning we couldn't imagine being told that we need a man’s signature to open a credit card, except that was the case until 1974.

And overturning Roe versus Wade, what else are they going to want to do? They have already been talking about this, right? I'm not a legal expert, I don't follow all the things but I've heard some rumblings about maybe even prosecuting women who leave the state to do an abortion. Or what is that state, is it Ohio or Texas that like citizen’s arrest is like a thing? I mean it's all sorts of crazy already happening and things like overturning gay marriage.

And so it's so important for all of us to stay a part of the conversation. You know, I just had a conversation with a really good friend of mine, a man, and pro-choice all the things and he wanted to run something by me. And first I just wanted to say I'm so glad he felt safe enough to run this question by because here's what I’ve found, everyone, including me, we need a safe space where we can learn and ask questions and not feel shamed. And so I just want to commend this friend, I don't know if you're listening or not, for thinking that I would be a safe place to have this discussion with.

Anyway, long story short, he was asking me some nuances about viability, like when is that cut off? When is it not really murder? And he is a dear friend of mine so I knew he didn't understand why he was asking that question. Except I did get upset and I told him, I said I'm getting really upset because that is the wrong thing to focus on. I was like that is exactly what they want you to focus on, viability, so that it's a distraction from the real issue, which is control of women.

So that conversation ended up really showing him what this is actually all about and he thanked me. He's like, the light bulb went off in my head, I get it. And then he said he's incredibly sad and disappointed about what's happening. And so this is why we need to be willing to have these conversations and be as calm as possible, I know it's not always possible.

But part of our work is to have as many allies on our side, and not just men, but other women, and especially men. And sometimes we're going to have these conversations, maybe we'll post something on our social media or maybe you’ll have a conversation with a friend and it's not going to go well. It takes courage to have these conversations, it really does because these are charged topics.

And as someone whose voice is listened to on the podcast, who emails my email list of several thousand people, who posts on social media that's read by thousands of people, I for sure have pissed people off. I for sure have gotten it wrong. And the fear of doing that used to really, really stop me. I'd be so afraid of saying the wrong thing, but at the same time I stunted my learning, and also the privilege of me being able to use this platform to talk about things that matter dearly to my heart.

And also, part of the whole reason why I even have this platform, this business, I have a business, I'm an entrepreneur, is that it’s purpose. I would say all of my entrepreneur friends, I was going to say all entrepreneurs, but I can't speak for all of them. But I would say all the entrepreneurs that I'm friends with, we are all mission and heart driven. And yes, we all love making money and all of us do it for different reasons.

And here's the thing, you don't really need a reason to make money, that's a whole ‘nother conversation. But I think if you don't have a compelling reason for you, and it's going to be different for all of us, you're going to quit because what is required to create the kind of wealth that most people want, takes something. And so you need something to hold your hand when you're walking through the fire, so to speak.

So anyway, I'm getting off on a little tangent here. But bringing it back to why I'm even bringing this up is, as time has gone on I've really been fired up by a lot of things. I've been fired up by this. I mean, I went to an all-women’s school, I went to Barnard College, I'm a feminist. And I've also been really, really affected by the recent mass shootings, or you know, all them that have been happening for many years. And then a light bulb went off in my head about what I can do about it besides donating.

And here's something that I found a lot of people, I should say, well, not a lot of people, but people tend to get offended when I talk about this, but I'm going to talk about it anyway. How do you think this happened? This meaning Roe v. Wade being overturned. And if you are someone who's passionate about gun control, how do you think we got to this place where we can't implement common sense gun control?

It's because those people have more money than the other side. Now, the reason why people get mad when I say this is because they'll say things like, well, we need more people to do things. This is true, we need boots on the ground. We need people willing to run for office. There's so many things part of this, and they need a lot of money.

How do you think those justices were put into their seats? They were put in place by people who were elected, by people who helped them. I mean, I was going to say how many layers does it go? But you get the point, people help people help people get elected, who then became president, who then put these judges in place. I mean it just goes round and round and round.

And how do you think that all happened? Money was a big part of the equation. Listen, money doesn't solve everything, it solves a lot of problems. You need money to help the people that we want to get elected to office to actually change the laws. And that's what I want to focus on, personally. And that might change in the future, but what I do know is that my clients go on to make more money. And all the clients I work with have big, amazing hearts. They love doing good in the world and they know they can do more good if they have and make more money.

I got a comment that if I really cared, that I should give seminars for free and work in shelters for single women, and that we need to help all women. And this is just one example, I'm kind of paraphrasing things. And comments shaming me for wanting to make money in general and then also talking about my programs to buy during this time.

And that's okay. People always have opinions about what a woman should do or not do, how they should spend their time, whether they get paid or not. And honestly those comments just kept feeding my fire that why I do what I do, why I'm even here on this planet. This is my purpose for now, that might change over time.

And I want all of you to not just have and make all the money, super fun, I also want you to feel like you're able to make the difference that you want. That you're not going to play small, that you are going to feel or have the courage to voice your opinions because this is exactly what the patriarchy doesn't want you to do.

All right, well, thanks for listening to my rant and I'll be back next week with some amazing takeaways from my two days with Brooke Castillo.

Hey, if you're ready to create wealth, I want to invite you to join my program Money For Women Physicians. You'll join a community of like-minded women physicians who are committed to creating wealth. Just head over to wealthymommd.com/money to learn more.